She was……the girl with a broken smile

She was……the girl with a broken smile

The true love of her life….Mr J!

He wasnt great… in fact he was awful!. He lived life on the edge… he lived a life that was unlawful… we thought he was the worst. Boy was we wrong, for on the night of the 5th August is where she was flung.
A death so cruel!…..so shocking; from the man who she trusted….turned out he was blocking …; Her exit was tragic and devastating to all. Her family and children so sad and appalled. It was not Mr J but a man so menacing…that had 0 remorse he stood with a grimace so trembling. Not a care in the world…not a tear…not a cry..despite pleas from the family of why oh why. Denials and no comments responses were made. Her death such a tragedy we thought he would cave.
Let’s not focus on him it’s not worth the attention, he knows his crime it’s not even worth the mention.
But who was she that he stole from the world, a girl with a a gift who’d turn heads when she’d whirl.
BEE was ….the girl with a broken smile…. 25 and beautiful inside and out. Dazzling beauty attracting men with clout. She would beat men off with a stick!. CRAP ones she attracted would never leave her side, staying due to her wit.
Enough of the rhyming and riddles …let me introduce you to Bee…
A victim of trust and non survivor of domestic abuse and trauma!
You see her walking, smiling, talking; passing compliments and messages of positivity to lift up a strangers day.. You need food? She will buy it! You cant cook? She will cook it? You feel nervous? She will calm you! You need love? She will love you? You do not know her….but she knows you…
You can feel her from a mile away, she brings light to the darkness. They love her, but little do they know her infectious energy, smile and laugh is jaded inside; shes hurting, shes struggling too; you see shes good at hiding this as she has mastered the art of a strong performance.
She goes to the shop, the owner looks sullen and almost at the brink of crying on the till. He wails “oh lady, lady lady….im so sad”…..shes says why? He says “I cant do this anymore….its too late!”….she says “its never too late…today was not so much of a good day but you will make tomorrow a day of change for the better….its never too late…the beginning starts tomorrow when you open your eyes”…..You see she lives through me.
She wondered through life worrying about her girls, mother, father? brother, sisters and friends…..you see…she knew the world too well……TOO WELL… she experienced it and struggled to verbalize her pain.
The world as it is and the underworld that it was. She knew the danger; that people walk on earth with the goal to harm and hurt others. She witnessed and experienced cyclical..hurt…..confusion..; was bewildered…shocked and sad with the world.
Abusers come in all forms! Mr friend, Mr Nice guy, Mr Trusting, Mr Husband Mr Help Me, Mr Lonely….. the list goes on! They suck you in and drain your positive light and energy. They said they loved her? She believed them. They used her? She forgave them. They beat her. She healed. They tried to break her spirit. They sometimes won….albeit temporarily…!
She recovered, sought solace from her supportive family, and came back to life just like a Phoenix rising from a burning building of ashes.
REGROUPED AND RECHARGED! She beat the odds….haha they didnt think she would. But I’ll tell you why…! This girl with the broken smile loved life and those close to her. This was her armour. She could take on the world.
She has been a repeat victim too 3x’s before her death!
Manipulated time and time again; she carrys the heaviest weight on her shoulders…. visualise a wooden beam carrying 4 buckets of dark troubled water over her shoulders, caused by others and poor decisions of trust. Psychological abuse is the worst. Confusing and life changing.
She is traumatised….they have hurt her….in more ways than one. If you had xray vision and put your special glasses on you would see the internal scars she carrys from those who abused her. She carried these scars day in day out…you wouldn’t see them as she didnt want to cause worry. She feared the shame and embarrassment. They saw the tip of the ice berg. Her mental health fluctuating as some days she just wasnt strong enough.
Her friends, family, nieghbours and daughters define her as selfless. She is…I mean she was…unbeknown to others SHE WAS THE GIRL WITH THE BROKEN SMILE.
Professionals say shes crazy…shes had enough….they keep prescribing her pills even when she explained shes had it rough. They know it’s not her family and cant understand why shes so unhappy because of a MAN? She keeps it moving because she can…wants a change.. wants a different life and partner. One that’s kind and giving; treats her like a queen and is loving. It doesn’t happen, in search of love she dies.
Despite this girl leaving the earthplane unexpected, tragically and with a bang through no fault of her own….shes still here asking for the world to be a better place.
If you know someone who is struggling please help. Dont be the girl or boy; man or woman with a broken smile.
This blog is in Ode to Bianca Martina Gobourne Thomas who passed away 15th August 2018 leaving three children behind.
Her charity will be accepting referrals from 15th August 2020 with a full team of volunteers.
Behind the scenes we are recruiting volunteers, training agencies to raise better awareness in order to provide bespoke support; and will be excitedly participating in 4 fundraising events throughout the year of 2019-2020.
If you wish to know more about this pioneering charity, fundraising events; if you need support, or want to be part of change please contact us through links on www.believeinbeefoundation.org.uk or fill in the contact us page.

You are not alone and we want to hear from YOU!!!

Last modified: 23:12 15/08/2019

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